[he breathes out a bit, eye focused on the pinecone that Chuuya is kicking. he certainly isn't wrong in that Beau would've made things a lot easier had she not lied, but--]
[. . .]
Chuuya. . . if I killed someone, would you protect me?
[Now that sure is a question. Why IS Chuuya mad? Luckily, Akira can get an honest answer out of him for that.]
You could have died! Everyone's been all 'let's work together' but from day 1 he was already planning on killing people! He used you like a guinea pig to figure out how his powers worked, and then two people died because of it!
He's an asshole, and he's been hiding how smart he is. But she can't see him for what he was! So fuck her! If that's the game she wants to play, then she can be mopey and care about him! I want no part in it!
We don't know why Nie Huaisang did what he did. And because he won't tell us, we'll never know. And that makes him an asshole.
[Akira's expression twists as he says that. he really did want to believe in a higher purpose, but based on all of the evidence-- and the recent revelation of Nie Huaisang's power-- he is now convinced there was no higher purpose at all]
You don't have to care about him, either. You don't have to forgive him-- I won't, and if I were you I still wouldn't.
But for Beau it's more. . . complicated than that. You and I have the luxury of hating and being angry freely.
Bullshit she doesn't! Anger isn't some program you can control or whatever! She can feel whatever she feels!
If it's complicated, it's complicated. But you know, it was complicated when I killed someone too, and people still got mad at me. Hell, she's the FIRST one who should be getting mad! Because friends are the ones who should be keeping their friends in line.
You killed someone and I was so pissed off I couldn't see straight. But if anyone had tried to rally a vote for you I would have punched them in the fucking face and fought to take your spot.
[He really, really wants to argue with Akira there. But when it's framed like that, how can he? As mad as he is at Beau, he would do the exact same thing to protect his closest friends. Akira, Dazai, Natalie, any of them. He would lie without a second thought if it meant protecting them.]
Well I'm still going to be mad.
[But from his tone, it's probably clear that he won't argue it anymore, and will keep that anger to himself. Because a tiny bit of self-reflection doesn't help with explosive emotions.
But congrats Akira, you got Chuuya to consider someone else's feelings besides his own for once!]
[Boy howdy does Chuuya start to turn in on himself at that last bit. Initially he reaches back like he's grabbing for his hood, but he's not wearing his hoodie right now so there's nothing for him to grab. Instead he makes a light 'che!' and shoves his hands in his pockets.]
I decided that too fast and got burned by it. Lesson learned though.
Meaning Chuuya sees that and ducks down under the right hook. Of course, he might end up accidentally headbutting Akira in the process, because he's not paying too much attention to where his head ends up. Just that it's not on the end of Akira's fist.]
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shortforever) wrote2020-06-06 12:09 pm
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And then she thought she had the right to compare to what I did when Dazai died! There's nothing the same there to begin with!
[He kicks another pinecone, this time with more force.]
She's lucky people jumped in and stopped me, I was about to kick her face in.
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[he breathes out a bit, eye focused on the pinecone that Chuuya is kicking. he certainly isn't wrong in that Beau would've made things a lot easier had she not lied, but--]
[. . .]
Chuuya. . . if I killed someone, would you protect me?
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Don't you fucking dare make this into a 'think about it from her point of view' kind of thing. I already lived it, thanks.
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You did. Which means that you, of all people, should understand what she was feeling the most.
. . . so why are you angry?
[his tone is quiet, not judgmental or accusatory at all]
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You could have died! Everyone's been all 'let's work together' but from day 1 he was already planning on killing people! He used you like a guinea pig to figure out how his powers worked, and then two people died because of it!
He's an asshole, and he's been hiding how smart he is. But she can't see him for what he was! So fuck her! If that's the game she wants to play, then she can be mopey and care about him! I want no part in it!
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[. . .]
We don't know why Nie Huaisang did what he did. And because he won't tell us, we'll never know. And that makes him an asshole.
[Akira's expression twists as he says that. he really did want to believe in a higher purpose, but based on all of the evidence-- and the recent revelation of Nie Huaisang's power-- he is now convinced there was no higher purpose at all]
You don't have to care about him, either. You don't have to forgive him-- I won't, and if I were you I still wouldn't.
But for Beau it's more. . . complicated than that. You and I have the luxury of hating and being angry freely.
She doesn't.
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If it's complicated, it's complicated. But you know, it was complicated when I killed someone too, and people still got mad at me. Hell, she's the FIRST one who should be getting mad! Because friends are the ones who should be keeping their friends in line.
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It's love.
[he says that firmly, chin tilted up]
You killed someone and I was so pissed off I couldn't see straight. But if anyone had tried to rally a vote for you I would have punched them in the fucking face and fought to take your spot.
And you know why?
[. . . Chuuya knows why]
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[HE JUST. Needs to say that first.]
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You get my point though, right?
. . . it doesn't make anything Beau has done right or just or even good. In fact, her actions are pretty shitty-- just like Nie Huaisang's are.
But I understand why she took them. That's why I'm not mad.
[a little disappointed, yeah. . . but not mad]
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Well I'm still going to be mad.
[But from his tone, it's probably clear that he won't argue it anymore, and will keep that anger to himself. Because a tiny bit of self-reflection doesn't help with explosive emotions.
But congrats Akira, you got Chuuya to consider someone else's feelings besides his own for once!]
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[he will never argue against Chuuya's right to be mad. but he does seem to relax a little bit, hands falling away from Chuuya's shoulders]
Especially since I know you consider her a friend.
[and it sucks when your friends lie to you]
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I decided that too fast and got burned by it. Lesson learned though.
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[:( no don't talk like that!1]
Don't give up on he now just because she made some bad decisions for someone she cares about. You guys can talk it out, you know?
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Tryyyy talking it out without breaking into a fight. Maybe wait until next week if you don't think you can do that right now.
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[BEAU AND CHUUYA ARE NEVER GOING TO TALK AGAIN, ARE THEY]
Well, anyway. . . if you need to let out some aggression, you can punch me in the shoulder.
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You're like, my best friend. I'd feel bad about it, especially since you can't fight back right now.
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[mildly offended!!]
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[:T]
I can still fight.
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[Okay, if Akira's goading him, he'll rise to that challenge. Not that he expects it to be much of one.]
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Meaning Chuuya sees that and ducks down under the right hook. Of course, he might end up accidentally headbutting Akira in the process, because he's not paying too much attention to where his head ends up. Just that it's not on the end of Akira's fist.]
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