Not Again! With Dazai

[shortforever]

Comments

[shortfornow]

Do you want to get used to it because it's normal or because it's what you want?

[shortforever]

We're trying out 'normal' stuff, aren't we? So we should want to be normal.

[shortfornow]

I don't think I can ever be considered normal. I also don't think you'd be interested in me if I was.

[ Taking another sip. ]

[shortforever]

That's not true. Reito-

[No, he can't even finish that thought. Reito is not normal.]

....Akira is normal and he's still a good friend.

[shortfornow]

[ ... looks at Akira's rivalmance ]

Is Akira normal?

[shortforever]

He's more normal than you, me, or Reito.

[shortfornow]

Anyone would look normal compare to us, Chuuya.

[ A longer sip of his hot cocoa as he leans into Chuuya's side. ]

I'm okay with Chuuya staying Chuuya, even if you can be a pain at times. [ Said with a tiny edge of fondness. Just tiny. ] I do think we should continue experiencing what's normal because it's clear we're lacking knowledge and experience there.

[ So it's beneficial to keep doing it. ]

[shortforever]

[He shrugs. It's never been a 'I must do this' thing for him, just thinky thoughts.]

Yeah, I know. And we're never gonna be normal. But what's the difference between 'normal' and 'human'? Can you be human and not normal?

[shortfornow]

I don't know if I can answer that because normally I don't feel human.

[ This camp experience and the house are the outliers to this. ]

Chuuya seems more human than most people I've encountered.

[shortforever]

If you've never felt human, then of course I'd be more human to you.

What do you feel like, then?

[shortfornow]

Like I'm empty.

[ Giving a shrug. ]

It's been different the last few months.

[shortforever]

So you're less empty now?

[He'll find out next week, when feelings sharing is a go. But for now, he's left to wonder for himself.]

[shortfornow]

Less empty now. I do have something to look forward to.

[ A goal and a path. As well as little things like this. ]

[shortforever]

...good. That's good.

[It is good, right? If all of their past problems were caused by Dazai feeling empty and him just not knowing better, then they can learn from it and get along better in the future. Right?

Chuuya still has some doubts, but 'better' is still okay. Neither of them will be perfect, so just 'better' is enough.]

[shortfornow]

[ He has no idea if it's good or not, but it's something. Something is better than being aimless and lost to nothingness. If it doesn't work out, they can just figure something else out to try.

They.

It's weird how already in his head that Chuuya is a part of this.

After a moment of quietness, he's going to bump lightly against Chuuya's side. ]

Let's take our drinks back to the cabin.

[ They should curl up and not think for a while. It's been a long day after all. ]