PCs for Brilith

[shortforever]

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Week 3, post-trial

[shortforever]

[Yeah uh. That trial was a Lot and Chuuya is honestly pretty upset. But he's also worried about Brilith so he's going to go looking for her. Maybe taking care of others will keep his mind occupied enough to not think about Dazai for a bit.

He's going to check her room for her first. Can he find her?]

[infire]

[ he will find her there, trying to read a book entirely to have something different to focus on. it isn't going well, however, so she shuts it immediately when it's clear she has a visitor. ]

Chuuya. What is it?

[shortforever]

If I ask you 'what the fuck happened at the trial', will you give me some kind of answer or will you tell me to fuck off?

[Might as well get the tone right for this conversation, at least.]

[infire]

[ ...it seems that no one is going to leave her be. so much for resting while the sedative wears off. brilith sighs. there's no use in not answering. these people are stubborn, and besides - they're from a different world, some of them even without gods to meddle in their affairs. it shouldn't matter what she says here. ]

I remembered all of my previous lives.

[shortforever]

[Wait until Brilith finds out she's talking to the human vessel for a god. That's going to be a fun day.]

Yeah? How'd that happen anyway?

[He sounds genuinely interested here. Both because it's something about Brilith he didn't know before, and because he's worried about her.]

[infire]

[ fun sure is a word! ]

...I'm sure you've experienced the memory swaps that have been happening this week, have you not? Agni... he somehow managed to trigger one that had been repressed, because she - I - couldn't face the truth. That, combined with his memory... I don't think he could have stopped me from awakening, no matter how hard he tried.

[shortforever]

[That is...troubling, but Chuuya can see how that happened. And his face actually softens, because it's hitting close to home for him.]

You're not her, are you? Or not just her, at least.

Do you want me to call you Brilith? Or something else?

[infire]

[ ...hm? she looks back at chuuya, obviously surprised, and unsure of how to respond. ]

...No. You're right. [ and the first person to ever even try to grasp it. ] The name doesn't matter. It changes every time, anyway.

You aren't arguing with me like the rest. Why?

[shortforever]

[Wow actually Brilith is about to get this answer much faster than anyone else here.]

Arahabaki. That's his name. And you could technically say it's mine too, but I like 'Chuuya' better.

It's not 'past lives' like what you've got going on, but I know what it's like to be more than one person. ...or 'being', I guess, Arahabaki isn't human.

[infire]

[ she mouths the name, as if to try it out, but doesn't voice it. ]

...All of my lives are human. Many of them were destroyed for that very reason.

[ there's a soft, tired sigh. ]

I wouldn't wish this sort of existence on anyone.

[shortforever]

...yeah. Me neither.

[He doesn't sigh like Brilith does, but the tiredness is present in his eyes. It's been a long day. ]

Y'know, I was kinda scared for people to find out. But I guess there's more people like me here than I thought.

[infire]

Afraid they would reject you for not being who they thought?

[ she can understand that. the brilith from before would tear up to know how many of her new friends are furious with her now. ]

But you've already known, right? It doesn't change who you are.

[shortforever]

[There is a sense of hesitation there, which will make sense when he finally does speak.]

No, I don't know. I mean, I know Arahabaki is a part of me and I'm a part of him, but I don't know what that means. They made me in a lab, there's nobody else like me in the world. And it's not like I just just be like "Hey, Arahabaki, what's up with all this weird shit?" because he's the manifestation of raw chaos and doesn't really talk much.

It's...it sucks, when all you've got is your best guess. Because people can call you a 'monster' and you can't even be sure that they're wrong.

[It's scary. And he doesn't like being afraid.]

[infire]

[ fascinating. the scientist in her wants to know more, but brilith, the one from this lifetime, won't allow her to ask for more details that chuuya probably doesn't know when he's already hurting. ]

...Sometimes even when you know you're human, they call you a monster and they're still right. [ she wouldn't argue, if someone here would call her that. ] Manifestation of chaos or not, I don't think you're a monster. You care far too much for that.

[shortforever]

Even monsters still care about their friends, Brilith.

...and you're my friend. I won't let them do anything to you.

[infire]

[ faces flash through her mind - each and every one a member of the ancient human race, lost long ago, that she will never see again. their souls have long since been lost to hell or paradise, or even oblivion. thinking of them pains her even now, angers her all over again - but yes, she does care. ]

I suppose you're right.

[ there is one other, though, one that brilith didn't know well herself. ]

...I'm sorry, Chuuya - for what happened to him.

[shortforever]

Nah, it's- it's fine. It's not anyone's fault, it just happened.

[It's a far change from how vocally he's been against the monsters all this time. Maybe because it's someone he's really close to? Chuuya's a bit of a hypocrite and there is a clear divide between 'people he cares about' and 'everyone else'.]

[infire]

It may not be anyone's fault, but that doesn't mean you can't mourn him.

[ she'll catch his eyes then, before continuing: ]

You don't have to say you're fine if you aren't. If you're angry, or sad... there's nothing wrong with that.

[shortforever]

Why should I mourn him?

[It's Complicated, and he doesn't know how to handle all these feelings.]

He ain't even dead yet. And I've never mourned anyone before.

[infire]

Not yet, but soon. But he is your friend, too, right?

[shortforever]

It's complicated.

[...]

I hate him, but I'll still miss him.

[infire]

I used to think the sort of relationship you two had was the height of friendship. That's what all the books said. I know better now, but... I can't say I don't know how you feel

There is no second antidote - none that we've found. But if there is a way to recreate the first, we can try to stop this before anyone else is changed.

[shortforever]

[Ah. So much for that hope.]

I figured. If someone had one, they would've spoken up.

I just wish I knew how they got the first one, so I could try that way too.

[infire]

All I know is that they found it while breaking into the morgue - the same way that my group found some things, like Lio's flamethrower and the medical reports.

...If you try that, make sure you're prepared for it. Bring weapons and medical supplies. There were monsters in the hospital, and Jin Ling said they found some sort of battlefield.

[shortforever]

[Yeah, as soon as she mentions the morgue he's already considering breaking in. Good catch.]

Man, weapons are such a pain. I'm normally a living weapon, you know. I've never had to use guns or knives or whatever.