shortforever | Not Again! With Dazai

I told him you'd kick my ass, and I'd rather avoid pain.

[ Studying him for a bit. ]

I was wondering why he was behaving weird towards me, but I finally found out why he's been actively staring at me with distrust. He told me about the memory he saw and how it's all my fault.

He's been bugging you about that? Shouldn't the fact that I keep having sleepovers with you be enough of a clue that it's all fine?

[Honestly, it's not all fine, and Chuuya is just avoiding problems that are going to come back to bite him in the ass later. As often happens with him.]

I'll talk some sense into him later.

[ This is probably not a good conversation to have while stuck to each other, but...

From how Akira was behaving and also knowing how much trust Chuuya actually has in others ]

Do you think he blames me for your issues with trusting others?

[ Is it fine really Chuuya? ]

If he does, then he's dumb as a box of rocks. I don't trust people because they use me and discard me after. Only people who don't do that even stand a chance at earning my trust.

[Which is, so far, like five people. Dazai is technically included but his status in the 'trust club' is weird because Chuuya simultaneously dislikes Dazai but also trusts him not to turn on him. Feelings are hard, yo.]

[ Watching him for a bit longer before he sighs. Chuuya can figure who he wants to trust and not trust, and he doesn't want to sway that in any direction.

But if they are going to really tackle this together... ]

It might be beneficial if I'm around when you talk to him. Maybe if he sees how we behave normally, then he'll relax.

[ He has no idea if that's the correct choice since this is uncharted territory. It also seems to be a pain, but Dazai did like bothering Akira and he's important to Chuuya.

Relationships are work ]

Nah, that's part of the problem. We fight all the time and he thinks that means there's something wrong between us.

I'll talk to him first. He gets defensive pretty easily, so maybe me coming at him as a friend will get an honest answer out of him.

[He's trying really hard to avoid addressing his lingering feelings for Akira and how that makes this whole thing even more of a clusterfuck. Emotions suck, he doesn't want them anymore.]

[ He knows that feeling. It almost makes him miss the graveyard, but at the same time...

the graveyard sucked for other reasons. ]

Let me know how it goes.

[ Shifting over closer. ]

I did tell him I want to be better.

[Chuuya hums thoughtfully in response to that. Dazai wants to be better, he wants to be better too. But what is 'better'? How can two broken teenage boys be better when they don't even know what 'better' is?

Maybe Chuuya was placing a bit too much hope in Ayabe, who also didn't seem to know what 'normal' was. This journey is going to be more of a back-and-forth meandering, he thinks.]

Maybe, after I talk to him, we really should show him. That we're trying to be better. I still wanna talk to him first, but maybe we do need to spend more time with the three of us.

This is a summer camp. Let's do summer camp things.

[Maybe being 'normal teenagers' at least some of the time will help.]

[ Dazai is taking it as don't kill people or manipulate the people close to him. The rest he'll play by ear or observe others. It's still hard for him to figure out how to normal, but all three of them have that issue.

Time to put his head on Chuuya's shoulder. ]

Think he knows anything about making bracelets?

Bracelets? Like...those friendship ones? Thinking of doing that as some 'get along' activity?

[It's probably better than Chuuya's idea of 'hunt Asch down for sport and pummel him with red rubber balls until he's curled up in the fetal position'.]

[ He's also down for watching Chuuya hunting Asch because that would be amazing. ]

Yeah, the friendship ones. I was planning on getting you to help out as soon as I got the supplies anyways. [ Might as well get Akira in on it ]

I guess it couldn't hurt. Team building exercises, or something.

let's make matching ones, the three of us. And then wear them to piss people off.

[Asch. He means Asch. He will take any chance to dunk on Asch.]

[ Gay. ]

What if I only want to match with you?

[ Is he serious? Who even knows. ]

We can probably ask Purple for supplies to see what they can do.

I'll make two then: one that matches yours, and one that matches his.

[Chuuya has two hands, Dazai.]

[ Pfft. There's something like a grin before he just closes his eyes as he curls towards Chuuya. ]

You can make one with both of our colors.

[ Then it's a little bit of both. ]

I am selfish, Chuuya. But as long as it's me you're coming back to at the end of the day, I don't care who you match, hold hands with or kiss. [ A pause. ] Though I may try to steal your attention anyways.

[ He's a butt that wants a lot of attention. ]

[Ah. Chuuya feels a bit sheepish now, because there's been times where he has considered kissing Akira.

But he won't admit to that, and instead rolls onto his side so Dazai can curl up next to him.]

Yeah, I hear you. ... It's the same for me too, you know. You can do whatever you want with whoever you want.

[Feelings! Are hard!!! But honestly Chuuya already knows his and Dazai's relationship is unique and can't be matched. So Dazai can flirt with whoever he wants to. Though Chuuya gets the feeling that his flirting is more of an act anyway.]

[ He's found flirting is easier for pretending to people. It's also a fun distraction from everything.

Lifting up his non-stuck arm to drape it over Chuuya's side. ]

I'm still not really interested in going beyond kissing, but you'll be the first to know when I am.

[ Because Chuuya is Chuuya and Chuuya is probably the only one he fully trusts here.

Also because he's curious how the other would react to that.]

Well no shit, we said we'd do a bunch of firsts together, right?

[Chuuya kind of assumed it meant all the firsts, even the ones they're not quite ready for yet. But it sounds like Dazai agrees with him, so.

He does sound a little embarrassed at having to say it out loud, though.]

[ The embarrassment is worth bringing it up alone. ]

We did. Wanted to make sure we're on the same page there.

[ Looks like they are from Chuuya's reaction. ]

[They definitely are. ]

Stop grinning, idiot.

I don't think I will. Shouldn't you be happy you're getting your boyfriend to grin, Chuuya?

No, because I know it's a grin at my expense!

[He can't wait for this stuck-curse to be done so he can flick Dazai on the forehead.]

[ Time to bury his face against Chuuya's shirt. He'll probably feel Dazai's expression relax into a smile for a moment. Or maybe he's still grinning. Chuuya can't see it. ]

I can't help that Chuuya brings it out.

[That needs to be an icon, it's cute. ]

You can't say shit like that when I can't kiss you, asshole!

We'll just have to kiss more to make up for it then.

[ Though he can press a kiss against Chuuya's shirt to be an extra tease. ]

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