[The work is calm at least, and it helps Chuuya to not be irritated over the pink task. Or rather, it would have been calm, if the memory hadn't come right at the start of it. And wow, what a frustrating memory. No wonder she's so firm on people not taking any action.
Chuuya isn't one to apologize or admit to being wrong, but he can feel a twinge of 'maybe I was a little too harsh before' in his heart.]
This again, huh?
[He has a hammer and a nail in his hands, but he hasn't moved them yet.]
she didn't expect that - and it shows on her face. so he remembers too, the way that they butt heads that first week over what should or shouldn't be done immediately. she holds onto the nails in her own hands and looks down at them, rather than facing him.]
.... I don't think you're the same as him.
[as her infuriating father.]
I just - don't like waiting.
[and maybe neither of them are the type to apologize, but this is as close to it as she'll manage.]
[It's fine, they can do the not-apology-dance around each other. He's glancing away too, pretending to try and judge if the piece of wood they're about to nail in is level or not.]
Of course not. But seeing echoes of the same behavior in other people can set someone off.
[He wants to point out that he would punch drug traffickers in the face too, but he becomes one in the future, so maybe he shouldn't say that.]
[though admittedly, after this weekend she can't help but reflect - ]
But we've seen what acting rashly does to a person here, too. Or even if it's not rashly.... what they'll do to those who aren't mindful of their rules.
Yeah. You know, it's kinda funny. I'm pretty sure most of the people here wouldn't need those dumb rules to be secretive anyway. Just the 'only one team can win' is enough to get most people to go quiet about what team they're on.
People are still people, Lili. We all know not to listen to those rules and to at least try not to kill everyone here. But even with that in mind, everyone's already thinking of the worst: what do I do if we can't break free? What if it really does come down to one team winning? What do I need to do to protect my lived ones?
That's normal. You can try to work in a group, and sometimes it works. But it's normal for people to care about themselves and their own people first.
[ . . . . she can't disagree, not when some of the people close to her have said the same thing. that they need to protect the people closest to them. but she still seems to struggle to buy into it.]
... as true as that is, it seems like bowing your head to a power you don't even want to acknowledge, doesn't it?
[it doesn't feel right.]
Though I understand the importance of having a back-up plan.
[which is why she doesn't seem against it - but she just hates the idea of it being anyone's first choice.]
It's not bowing your head to a power. It's being ready for the inevitability of someone else doing it.
[That seems like the perfect time for Chuuya's own memories to hit too.
A memory of a time only a couple months ago, when Dazai was voted out, and transformed into a hideous fox-like monster. One that begged for his life, saying 'I don't want to die.'
One that continues into Chuuya talking to others, about how they had saved Hunter before, so there must be more items that they can use to save Dazai. And how everyone he talked to reassured him of that fact. Someone must have something, the items were given out in groups after all. So someone would speak up and save Dazai at the execution.
Chuuya even promises the same to Dazai himself, on that long night after the trial. They'll find a way. It might be tough, but they'll find a way.
But in the end, nobody speaks up, and Chuuya can only watch as one person he cares about is forced to kill the other. Such an item didn't exist after all.
...except it DID, as he found out the next week. And while it's possible that such an item wasn't gained until that week, Chuuya's a rather pessimistic person and instantly assumed that people were hanging onto those items to save their own friends, rather than sharing with everyone. Which meant that Chuuya had to watch week after week while people were saved from their monsters, all while the rage and the grief ate at his very soul.
The memory ends with a rather loud thud as Chuuya slams both of his hands down against the roof, holding the hammer and nail in place firmly. He doesn't even look at Lili at first, he needs a moment to get over being mad about all of it again.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2020-06-29 06:48 pm (UTC)Chuuya isn't one to apologize or admit to being wrong, but he can feel a twinge of 'maybe I was a little too harsh before' in his heart.]
This again, huh?
[He has a hammer and a nail in his hands, but he hasn't moved them yet.]
No wonder you got mad at me before.
no subject
Date: 2020-06-29 07:13 pm (UTC)she didn't expect that - and it shows on her face. so he remembers too, the way that they butt heads that first week over what should or shouldn't be done immediately. she holds onto the nails in her own hands and looks down at them, rather than facing him.]
.... I don't think you're the same as him.
[as her infuriating father.]
I just - don't like waiting.
[and maybe neither of them are the type to apologize, but this is as close to it as she'll manage.]
no subject
Date: 2020-06-29 08:09 pm (UTC)Of course not. But seeing echoes of the same behavior in other people can set someone off.
[He wants to point out that he would punch drug traffickers in the face too, but he becomes one in the future, so maybe he shouldn't say that.]
no subject
Date: 2020-06-30 07:03 am (UTC)[though admittedly, after this weekend she can't help but reflect - ]
But we've seen what acting rashly does to a person here, too. Or even if it's not rashly.... what they'll do to those who aren't mindful of their rules.
[pours one out for giyuu]
no subject
Date: 2020-06-30 04:59 pm (UTC)Yeah. You know, it's kinda funny. I'm pretty sure most of the people here wouldn't need those dumb rules to be secretive anyway. Just the 'only one team can win' is enough to get most people to go quiet about what team they're on.
[Chuuya, always so distrustful of others.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-01 02:44 am (UTC)Do you think?
Do you still believe in that?
[she's just. outright rejected it from the start.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-01 05:07 am (UTC)That's normal. You can try to work in a group, and sometimes it works. But it's normal for people to care about themselves and their own people first.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-02 06:25 pm (UTC)... as true as that is, it seems like bowing your head to a power you don't even want to acknowledge, doesn't it?
[it doesn't feel right.]
Though I understand the importance of having a back-up plan.
[which is why she doesn't seem against it - but she just hates the idea of it being anyone's first choice.]
summarizing rather than linking like five threads lol
Date: 2020-07-02 06:54 pm (UTC)[That seems like the perfect time for Chuuya's own memories to hit too.
A memory of a time only a couple months ago, when Dazai was voted out, and transformed into a hideous fox-like monster. One that begged for his life, saying 'I don't want to die.'
One that continues into Chuuya talking to others, about how they had saved Hunter before, so there must be more items that they can use to save Dazai. And how everyone he talked to reassured him of that fact. Someone must have something, the items were given out in groups after all. So someone would speak up and save Dazai at the execution.
Chuuya even promises the same to Dazai himself, on that long night after the trial. They'll find a way. It might be tough, but they'll find a way.
But in the end, nobody speaks up, and Chuuya can only watch as one person he cares about is forced to kill the other. Such an item didn't exist after all.
...except it DID, as he found out the next week. And while it's possible that such an item wasn't gained until that week, Chuuya's a rather pessimistic person and instantly assumed that people were hanging onto those items to save their own friends, rather than sharing with everyone. Which meant that Chuuya had to watch week after week while people were saved from their monsters, all while the rage and the grief ate at his very soul.
The memory ends with a rather loud thud as Chuuya slams both of his hands down against the roof, holding the hammer and nail in place firmly. He doesn't even look at Lili at first, he needs a moment to get over being mad about all of it again.]