Can you blame me for being angry? Hunter showed that note about the DVDs being fake to everyone, and--
[well. . . it's not that he doesn't understand why Chuuya chose to murder after all, but. he's was just!! mad! still is mad, although that's cooling significantly now that they're talking]
I know it's not his fault, but- why did he get saved and Dazai didn't? Every time I see him, I can't stop thinking that. And every time I think about it, it drives me up a wall.
I hate him for it. It's not even his fault, and I still hate him.
So I didn't listen to him. I just plowed on ahead doing my own thing like he hadn't spoken up at all. And it wasn't until Friday when I got that note from Dazai confirming that we shouldn't be killing, and by then it was too late.
[Akira's expression immediately softens into understanding, all of his anger having been washed away by that admission. he knew that Chuuya was upset that they couldn't save Dazai, but. . .]
Yeah, well, I guess there's no second chances for bad guys. Just like usual.
[He's trying to keep an even voice, but his eyes might just betray how much it hurts to say those words. Because he suspects that even if the antidote had been available, they wouldn't have given it to Dazai. And that it's the same for himself too.]
[Hilariously, Chuuya thinks his actions are pretty damn selfish. He doesn't care that they are, but he at least recognizes the fact. So when he scoffs at Akira's description of him, it's because they're looking at the same events and drawing wildly different conclusions.]
Are you even listening to yourself? You're excusing murder and mafia activities. Would you be saying the same thing if we weren't such good friends?
[Akira does have a point about motivations and how that changes things, but Chuuya is pig-headed and hates conceding arguments.]
I'm not excusing murder. You've done some pretty shitty things, Chuuya. And you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life.
[but. . .?]
But the reasons why you did what you did are important to take into account, too. I'd be saying that even if we weren't good friends, but the fact that we are good friends-- the fact that you told me, straight up, that you want to be a better person-- is why I don't think you're a bad guy.
[because striving for self-improvement. . . that's important, too]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:02 am (UTC)[THUMBS UP]
He's obnoxious sometimes, so good on you.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:05 am (UTC)[Like, he knows why Akira did it, but that doesn't make him any less mad.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:20 am (UTC)Can you blame me for being angry? Hunter showed that note about the DVDs being fake to everyone, and--
[well. . . it's not that he doesn't understand why Chuuya chose to murder after all, but. he's was just!! mad! still is mad, although that's cooling significantly now that they're talking]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:27 am (UTC)[Oops it's confession time.]
I know it's not his fault, but- why did he get saved and Dazai didn't? Every time I see him, I can't stop thinking that. And every time I think about it, it drives me up a wall.
I hate him for it. It's not even his fault, and I still hate him.
So I didn't listen to him. I just plowed on ahead doing my own thing like he hadn't spoken up at all. And it wasn't until Friday when I got that note from Dazai confirming that we shouldn't be killing, and by then it was too late.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:35 am (UTC)[. . .]
[Akira's expression immediately softens into understanding, all of his anger having been washed away by that admission. he knew that Chuuya was upset that they couldn't save Dazai, but. . .]
[. . .]
Chuuya. . .
[reaching to touch his arm]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:40 am (UTC)Don't- I'm not gonna do anything to him. I'll leave him alone.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:51 am (UTC). . . I'm not worried.
[another quiet pause]
There has to be a way we can still save Dazai. Him, and everyone else on the other side.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:54 am (UTC)I know there is, that's not the problem here.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-23 03:06 am (UTC)I know.
We let him down. And in the same breath, we let you down.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-23 03:33 am (UTC)...and you didn't let me down either. You didn't have a cure, right? So it's not your fault.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-23 03:53 am (UTC)[like 45 had the week before. but no one came in clutch, and that was disappointing]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-23 04:04 am (UTC)[He's trying to keep an even voice, but his eyes might just betray how much it hurts to say those words. Because he suspects that even if the antidote had been available, they wouldn't have given it to Dazai. And that it's the same for himself too.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-24 12:43 am (UTC)You aren't a bad guy.
[. . . DAZAI WAS STILL A DICK, THO]
And even if Dazai is, he deserves a second chance as much as anyone else here does.
And if anyone tried to argue otherwise, I'd fight them on that point.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-24 12:57 am (UTC)[It's kind of a lie, he doesn't like being looked down upon. But that's his ego talking.]
I'm not ashamed of it, and denying it ain't helping.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-26 03:15 am (UTC)[not!! a bad guy!!!!!]
You've killed people, you've worked for the mafia, and you're focused on survival.
But you also did what you did it order to help someone you cared about, and while it was really damn stupid, it doesn't make you a bad person.
Because a bad person wouldn't be so selfless.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-26 04:54 am (UTC)Are you even listening to yourself? You're excusing murder and mafia activities. Would you be saying the same thing if we weren't such good friends?
[Akira does have a point about motivations and how that changes things, but Chuuya is pig-headed and hates conceding arguments.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-27 11:03 pm (UTC)[but. . .?]
But the reasons why you did what you did are important to take into account, too. I'd be saying that even if we weren't good friends, but the fact that we are good friends-- the fact that you told me, straight up, that you want to be a better person-- is why I don't think you're a bad guy.
[because striving for self-improvement. . . that's important, too]