PCs for room 11!

[shortforever]

Because there's going to be a lot of these lol

Comments

[survivaltricks]

[nnnnot letting go, though like. he is swaying; it's probably not too difficult to break away if Chuuya tries hard enough]

I'm not talking about votes! I'm talking about the people who care about you-- who you care about in return-- and how they'd feel watching you die!

[god damn it]

I'm talking about me!

[shortforever]

[Oh.

Chuuya had been about to pull away, but hearing that makes the fight drain right out of him.]

I guess I didn't think about that. I mean, usually situations like this end with a knife in my gut.

[Luckily Akira saw that particular memory, so he doesn't have to explain it.]

[survivaltricks]

. . . well, I'm not going to stick a knife in your gut.

[OBVIOUSLY??]

And I don't want you to take your stuff and move out. I'm pissed off, but you're still my friend.

[and he means that!!]

And more than anything. . . I was afraid of what might've happened to you today.

[shortforever]

Would you still say that even if you knew I fought your cop-friend?

[BECAUSE YEAH. THAT SURE DID HAPPEN.]

[survivaltricks]

[buddy]

I've kicked his ass like, three times now. If you weren't fighting him then I'd think something was wrong with you.

[so yeah, he would say that]

[shortforever]

Okay good. Because I couldn't stand his self-righteous attitude at the trial and I had to let him know he wasn't allowed to be snooty like that.

[Chuuya is still Chuuya, after all.]

[survivaltricks]

[HONESTLY]

[THUMBS UP]

He's obnoxious sometimes, so good on you.

[shortforever]

Hearing you say all that stuff at the trial made me mad too.

[Like, he knows why Akira did it, but that doesn't make him any less mad.]

[survivaltricks]

[. . . a small sigh]

Can you blame me for being angry? Hunter showed that note about the DVDs being fake to everyone, and--

[well. . . it's not that he doesn't understand why Chuuya chose to murder after all, but. he's was just!! mad! still is mad, although that's cooling significantly now that they're talking]

[shortforever]

...I didn't trust him.

[Oops it's confession time.]

I know it's not his fault, but- why did he get saved and Dazai didn't? Every time I see him, I can't stop thinking that. And every time I think about it, it drives me up a wall.

I hate him for it. It's not even his fault, and I still hate him.

So I didn't listen to him. I just plowed on ahead doing my own thing like he hadn't spoken up at all. And it wasn't until Friday when I got that note from Dazai confirming that we shouldn't be killing, and by then it was too late.

[survivaltricks]

[well. . . well. that. . .]

[. . .]

[Akira's expression immediately softens into understanding, all of his anger having been washed away by that admission. he knew that Chuuya was upset that they couldn't save Dazai, but. . .]

[. . .]

Chuuya. . .

[reaching to touch his arm]

[shortforever]

[He flinches a little at the touch, because he's totally expecting a reprimand. He's not sure if pity is better or worse though.]

Don't- I'm not gonna do anything to him. I'll leave him alone.

[survivaltricks]

I know.

. . . I'm not worried.

[another quiet pause]

There has to be a way we can still save Dazai. Him, and everyone else on the other side.

[shortforever]

[Chuuya makes an irritated noise.]

I know there is, that's not the problem here.

[survivaltricks]

[. . . yeah, he supposes that's true. at this point, it's all just a useless platitude, isn't it?]

I know.

We let him down. And in the same breath, we let you down.

[shortforever]

Dazai is fine. He's a little dead right now, but he's not gone. We'll find a way to get him back.

...and you didn't let me down either. You didn't have a cure, right? So it's not your fault.

[survivaltricks]

I didn't. I just. . . had hoped someone else did.

[like 45 had the week before. but no one came in clutch, and that was disappointing]

[shortforever]

Yeah, well, I guess there's no second chances for bad guys. Just like usual.

[He's trying to keep an even voice, but his eyes might just betray how much it hurts to say those words. Because he suspects that even if the antidote had been available, they wouldn't have given it to Dazai. And that it's the same for himself too.]

[survivaltricks]

[HRRRRRGH]

You aren't a bad guy.

[. . . DAZAI WAS STILL A DICK, THO]

And even if Dazai is, he deserves a second chance as much as anyone else here does.

And if anyone tried to argue otherwise, I'd fight them on that point.

[shortforever]

I'm a bad guy, Akira. I kill people. I work for the mafia. I don't even really care what others think so long as I get to live.

[It's kind of a lie, he doesn't like being looked down upon. But that's his ego talking.]

I'm not ashamed of it, and denying it ain't helping.

[survivaltricks]

You are not a bad guy.

[not!! a bad guy!!!!!]

You've killed people, you've worked for the mafia, and you're focused on survival.

But you also did what you did it order to help someone you cared about, and while it was really damn stupid, it doesn't make you a bad person.

Because a bad person wouldn't be so selfless.

[shortforever]

[Hilariously, Chuuya thinks his actions are pretty damn selfish. He doesn't care that they are, but he at least recognizes the fact. So when he scoffs at Akira's description of him, it's because they're looking at the same events and drawing wildly different conclusions.]

Are you even listening to yourself? You're excusing murder and mafia activities. Would you be saying the same thing if we weren't such good friends?

[Akira does have a point about motivations and how that changes things, but Chuuya is pig-headed and hates conceding arguments.]

[survivaltricks]

I'm not excusing murder. You've done some pretty shitty things, Chuuya. And you'll have to live with that for the rest of your life.

[but. . .?]

But the reasons why you did what you did are important to take into account, too. I'd be saying that even if we weren't good friends, but the fact that we are good friends-- the fact that you told me, straight up, that you want to be a better person-- is why I don't think you're a bad guy.

[because striving for self-improvement. . . that's important, too]