[Yeah, he. He kind of expected that. Which is why he's quick to jump to his feet and get immediately defensive.]
Look, I already know how you guys feel about it all. I heard it all at the trial. I won't even waste your time trying to explain anything. Just don't give me any grief, and I'll get my stuff around and go.
[Akira's hands clench into fists at his sides again, knuckles white, and for a moment he. . . really looks like he's holding something back]
[and then]
[the crutch falls away at his side. he stumbles forward-- one step taken with his good leg, the other taken with his prosthetic. he isn't perfectly balanced, but he's walking and he crashes into Chuuya hard enough to knock him down]
[His first thought is that, wow, Akira is walking pretty well now. And in that moment he actually feels a tinge of happiness that Akira is getting his mobility back, even a little bit.
But then he's being hugged and this totally isn't what he had been expecting at all.]
[Okay, now he's trying to pull away. Gently, so he doesn't knock Akira over, but he wants out of the hug.]
We're in a game of death by majority vote. If most people want me dead, they'll off me. The only thing that spared me today was the fear of the monsters.
Can you blame me for being angry? Hunter showed that note about the DVDs being fake to everyone, and--
[well. . . it's not that he doesn't understand why Chuuya chose to murder after all, but. he's was just!! mad! still is mad, although that's cooling significantly now that they're talking]
I know it's not his fault, but- why did he get saved and Dazai didn't? Every time I see him, I can't stop thinking that. And every time I think about it, it drives me up a wall.
I hate him for it. It's not even his fault, and I still hate him.
So I didn't listen to him. I just plowed on ahead doing my own thing like he hadn't spoken up at all. And it wasn't until Friday when I got that note from Dazai confirming that we shouldn't be killing, and by then it was too late.
[Akira's expression immediately softens into understanding, all of his anger having been washed away by that admission. he knew that Chuuya was upset that they couldn't save Dazai, but. . .]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:27 am (UTC)[. . . eventually, he makes his way back to their shared room, quietly closing the door behind him as he does so]
[. . .]
[and at first? he doesn't say anything]
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Date: 2020-03-22 01:31 am (UTC)Look, I already know how you guys feel about it all. I heard it all at the trial. I won't even waste your time trying to explain anything. Just don't give me any grief, and I'll get my stuff around and go.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:32 am (UTC)[CHUUYA IS SO FUCKING STUPID]
[Akira's hands clench into fists at his sides again, knuckles white, and for a moment he. . . really looks like he's holding something back]
[and then]
[the crutch falls away at his side. he stumbles forward-- one step taken with his good leg, the other taken with his prosthetic. he isn't perfectly balanced, but he's walking and he crashes into Chuuya hard enough to knock him down]
[and pulls him]
[into a very tight hug]
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Date: 2020-03-22 01:40 am (UTC)But then he's being hugged and this totally isn't what he had been expecting at all.]
Akira?
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:47 am (UTC)You stupid idiot. You moron. You fucking-- I'm so fucking pissed off at you. . .!
[but also. . . tight hug??!?!?! mixed signals??!]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:50 am (UTC)Uh, yea, I kinda figured. I have ears. I heard everything you said at the trial.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:53 am (UTC)[SO WHY IS HE REITERATING]
[and still. clinging??]
. . . if we hadn't found Lio, they all would've voted for you.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:55 am (UTC)[He just. Seems to accept this so casually?]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 01:57 am (UTC)You didn't think about how anyone here who cares about you would've felt if you had been executed?
[he no longer looks angry. he looks like a mixture of relieved and. . . sad-upset??]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:02 am (UTC)[He has a very pessimistic view of his popularity, ok?]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:16 am (UTC)It's the quality of your relationships.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:23 am (UTC)[Okay, now he's trying to pull away. Gently, so he doesn't knock Akira over, but he wants out of the hug.]
We're in a game of death by majority vote. If most people want me dead, they'll off me. The only thing that spared me today was the fear of the monsters.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:28 am (UTC)I'm not talking about votes! I'm talking about the people who care about you-- who you care about in return-- and how they'd feel watching you die!
[god damn it]
I'm talking about me!
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:38 am (UTC)Chuuya had been about to pull away, but hearing that makes the fight drain right out of him.]
I guess I didn't think about that. I mean, usually situations like this end with a knife in my gut.
[Luckily Akira saw that particular memory, so he doesn't have to explain it.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:51 am (UTC)[OBVIOUSLY??]
And I don't want you to take your stuff and move out. I'm pissed off, but you're still my friend.
[and he means that!!]
And more than anything. . . I was afraid of what might've happened to you today.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:57 am (UTC)[BECAUSE YEAH. THAT SURE DID HAPPEN.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 02:58 am (UTC)I've kicked his ass like, three times now. If you weren't fighting him then I'd think something was wrong with you.
[so yeah, he would say that]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:02 am (UTC)[Chuuya is still Chuuya, after all.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:02 am (UTC)[THUMBS UP]
He's obnoxious sometimes, so good on you.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:05 am (UTC)[Like, he knows why Akira did it, but that doesn't make him any less mad.]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:20 am (UTC)Can you blame me for being angry? Hunter showed that note about the DVDs being fake to everyone, and--
[well. . . it's not that he doesn't understand why Chuuya chose to murder after all, but. he's was just!! mad! still is mad, although that's cooling significantly now that they're talking]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:27 am (UTC)[Oops it's confession time.]
I know it's not his fault, but- why did he get saved and Dazai didn't? Every time I see him, I can't stop thinking that. And every time I think about it, it drives me up a wall.
I hate him for it. It's not even his fault, and I still hate him.
So I didn't listen to him. I just plowed on ahead doing my own thing like he hadn't spoken up at all. And it wasn't until Friday when I got that note from Dazai confirming that we shouldn't be killing, and by then it was too late.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:35 am (UTC)[. . .]
[Akira's expression immediately softens into understanding, all of his anger having been washed away by that admission. he knew that Chuuya was upset that they couldn't save Dazai, but. . .]
[. . .]
Chuuya. . .
[reaching to touch his arm]
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:40 am (UTC)Don't- I'm not gonna do anything to him. I'll leave him alone.
no subject
Date: 2020-03-22 03:51 am (UTC). . . I'm not worried.
[another quiet pause]
There has to be a way we can still save Dazai. Him, and everyone else on the other side.
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